Series Wednesday: Family game night Page 4

I sit here watching all the kids on their phones laughing and playing games. Percy seems happy to have all his friends around.  I walk around and say hi to all the parents who are in the kitchen. I hear a laugh from behind me it has to be the most obnoxious laugh I have ever heard in my life. I turn back to look at the kids and see a large boy who seems to be messing with all the other children. This must be the bully Percy was talking about. I see he hasn’t just caught my eye but also my fathers. I rush over to Percy “is that the boy you told me about?” Percy sighs. “Yeah, dad said I had to invite the whole class.” Percy shrugs. “I am sure he did.” I say as I push him back toward his party. He smiles at me as he heads toward his friends. I walk over to my dad and lean in and whisper to him. “Dad enough not him.” I tell my father. “This is how it is done. Stay out of it Cahira, I am not your mother and this won’t be an argument.” My dad says as he starts to tower over me. “This is the real reason you guys waited for his first game night.”  My dad grabs me by the side of my arm. “Cahira I told you, this is not an agreement or conversation. If you don’t want to be here for Percy’s special day then leave. If you do decide to stay I expect silence and a smile.” I look my dad in the eyes searching for the gentle man who raised me but that is not what I see looking back at me. “Dad people can see you.” Grace says as she rubs my dad's shoulder. He lets me go and smiles at my sister. "Thank you Grace." He takes a deep breath and walks away. "What were you thinking pissing off dad??" Graces asks me as I look at my dad hand print on my arm.  "I wasn't trying to pissing him off. I know you won't believe me but I never intentionally try to make our parent angry. I just don't believe what you guys do is right."  I wait for Grace's come back. "Honestly Cahira we don't care if you believe in it or not. This is our way of life. You are average at best. Mom, dad and I are just perfectionist and this is how we deal with it. I am sorry if that doesn't fit into your narrow views of right and wrong." Grace step towards me with the same anger as my parents do. "My views are far from narrow. In no one’s view what you guys do okay.  If it was you wouldn't have a secret room for it." Unlike my dad Grace is harmless. "Girls enough Cahira go to your room, you are just picking fights with everyone today." My mom says as she grabs me by the ear.   I walk back to my room.

                I sit outside the door. I know what Percy is seeing for the first time. I can’t help but want to cry for him. I can’t hear anything from up here my parents had the room sound proofed years ago. I don’t know if Percy will feel as I did. Will he be disgusted with our family??? Or will he join them like Grace?? My mom talks about my coma like it was something that just happened to me. I hate that she blames that on why I have morals. I would be lying if I said waking up from the coma didn’t change me. Before the coma I was much like Grace, I had to be the best at everything. I always felt slightly out of place and like my skin was always buzzing off my bone. The only person who ever understood that was Chance probably because of his secrets. He was always sweet and never gave up on me even as a kid. When I was in the coma Chance’s mom brought him to see me every day, he was there even more than my own mother. Chance's face was the first one I saw when I woke up, I knew right then that I was different then before my accident because that was the moment I started to love Chance. The day I woke up was the day I was born, the odd girl who lived in my body before me died. I never thought again about the emptiness in my soul or the way I was never able to get attached to anyone not even my parents.  After the accident I could love and get attached, it was just hard for me when I realized that I could love my family in a way they would never love me back. Grace is the best at pretending she feels love. My parent’s on the other hand. My mother only held us in front of company and I don't remember it bothering me until I woke up that day in the hospital. As a child I didn't like being held or cuddled, neither did Grace. I am kind of thankful that I cracked my head open and changed because if not I would still be like them. I sit here wondering if Percy is like them. He was the only one of us that cried as a baby to be held. Maybe he is different because he is a boy.  This could all be wishful thinking at this point. I won't know anything until they are done down there. So all I can do is sit here and wait.